If only, if only
by lalala223
Summary: Jacinella, daughter of the mighty Graceling couple Katsa and Greening Grandemalion. Alek, son of brave Will and bold Alyss Treaty. A meeting by the borders truly changes life for these two young people, becoming new friends and, oh, who is that?
1. maybe?

**Author's notes. This is just to start it off.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice.**

"Come on, mommy. It's time to go to work. Wake up. WAKE UP, MOMMY!" the sound of Alec's voice woke me from my deep sleep and wonderful dreams."Hmmm, baby? What is it?" " Well, it's time to wake up!" he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the whole world." And don't fall back to sleep. There's only ten minutes left 'til you haave to go to work, and dad is already working on something. So, get up!" Wow, who knew seven year olds could be so demanding?" oh, and I made eggs and toast for you. Also healthy fruit salad. AND I packed a lunch for you AND me.""Thank you, sweetie. I'll be out in five." Is it just me, or is that boy a little bit mature for a seven year old?

**I know it's short, but it's just a teaser to see if you like it. What do you think? You can most definitely tell me using the little blue link down there****. **


	2. Arrow's suspense

**Author's notes: Yay! Second chapter. Okay, this one is graceling. Can you tell by the moms' behaviors? I can! But maybe I'm bias. Hey, here's an idea! Why don't **_**YOU**_** review! Then you can tell me what you think and make suggestions. I love this site. Okay, read on.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Graceling.**

"Mom. Come on. There's someone out there. Mom?" "Huh? Oh, it's okay, it's probably just your daddy. He went hunting this morning. Our food supply is getting real low. Don't worry, though. I'll go check it out. "I stretched my arms high above my head as I got out of my cot. My daughter, Jacinella, was always so worried. Not many people come to our cabin, but those who do have crossed paths with the wrong people. We don't touch a hair on their no-brained heads unless they knock on our door, but by that time they have no chance. They are dead meat.

I take three long strides to the door and light the candles. Not that we need light, what with the afternoon sunlight flying high through our window, but it's a comfort anyways. I walk through the house and reach the door in an instant. That very second an arrow comes flying in the house. "DUCK!" I hear Po holler at me from a mere five feet away. I complied, bringing my sweet daughter down with me. We crawled to the fireplace, where my bow and quiver were. I shot, aiming high enough for a head. My arrows are small but effective, maybe even more so due to their size.

I know, it sounds crazy, but it's true. I heard a sickening thud as the invisible man landed without comfort on the ground, writhing in pain. The arrow hit where I shot it. High enough for a head translates to leg really fast. I walked cautiously over to the man I took down and saw that the arrow had embedded itself into his muscle. Disgusting. Blood seeped through his clothes and the cut deepened as he wriggled his whole body to get away from us. It was only then when I saw his face. Exactly like Po's, only a bit differently fashioned. Oh. My. God. I just shot Po's brother. More importantly, he shot at me. He attacked us. I didn't know what to think. Why would he do such a thing? Maybe he was attacked. Maybe it was a false play. I don't know, but my daughter is surly not sticking around long enough to find out. "Jacy, get out of here. Run off to Bitterblue's palace, tell her who you are. Stay undercover and make sure everything is okay. Stay there until we come and get you. And don't trust anyone."

**Ah, the way too over-used words…"trust no one". I feel like a huge dork for saying that, but it was kind of necessary. Okay, I'll let you get on with your lives now, no need to stay here and read pointless chapter notes. If you really want to know more about me, see my profile page.**


	3. running, sprinting, flying, fast

**I know, I know. I haven't posted in forever and a day, but maybe I can make it up with this chapter? Hopefully? Please read, and review. In your review, you can tell me just how much you despise me! Doesn't that sound like fun? Enjoy!**

He was running through the woods, right on their tail. He was getting closer every second, the muscles in his legs aching from the effort of running so fast, so far. He had been sprinting for nearly 5 miles, and his lungs were tight in his chest. However, his heart was beating as normal. He ran, and ran, and seemed to run forever, the seconds dragging by like days, like months, like years. And with every long stride his legs took, he was closer to catching his father's killers. They murdered him in cold blood, and the woman even grinned maniacally, chuckling and yelling words he can't repeat, screaming them in his face. Calling him those words.

He caught up to her. He did it. Now it is time. She has to die. It was his fault, all his fault. His father died protecting him, keeping him safe. Now he was going to avenge him. He lunged at the evil woman….

And woke up. He was startled out of sleep, awoken by the sounds of tears, racking sobs. He found they were emanating from his body, and was surprised at his sudden display of weakness. Tears? He was crying? An odd day, indeed. He pulled his hoodie off of his head and peeked around his arms and looked at the classroom.

"Ahhh!" he exclaimed. He was staring into the shell-shocked face of his teacher.

"Alec, what is it? What's wrong?" she asked hesitantly. He suddenly had the urge to pull his hoodie back over his head. His skin was pale white, his features very proportionate, and he had a thin, muscular build. His muscles flexed as he stretched his arms high above his head in an I-don't-really-know-or-care manner and set them on his desk, elbows resting on the wooden table in front of him.

"Nothing. I'm fine, just messing around." She sighed a sigh filled to the brim with relief, then turned to him again, the smile gone and a frown replacing it.

"Don't you EVER, EVER, EVER mess with me like that again! I thought there was something seriously wrong!" then she smacked him with her newspaper and strolled back to her desk in a leisurely way.

Truth was everyone in the fief knew about his "special ability" and his mismatched eyes. He only wished he could figure out why he was like that. He could have visions, see the future, and effect people's minds under a lot of pressure. Most people stayed away from him, afraid he might get into their brain and be a "thought thief." Some of the people were so scared that they had a law passed just for him:

"All thought-thievery shall be punishable by three hours in the dungeons, unless used for self- defense, which shall be decided in a court."

Yes, the fief went to extremes, and he did try to change their minds, but his efforts were to no avail. They didn't care about what unfairness was going on, just that their thoughts were private. Which they weren't. People could be so stupid. They really should be able to figure out on their own that they can't tell when he's in their head unless he wants them to, to mess with them. Sometimes he did mess with them, he would just put his mind into theirs for just a second, a feather light touch. They would turn towards him with a glare, knowing that he did it. He would be already looking at a store with what looked like interest, and he saw their surprised gazes, thinking it wasn't him. He used to have to concentrate really hard on a person to read their mind, but now he had it down. He kept up the charade all these years, knowing it would come in handy some day, sometime. He was right, it did. He had never gotten caught, and not everyone was scared of him.

Like the baron, for example. Every day, the baron would invite him to his office and ask him to read his mind. He called it "practice". Like he would be able to work better if Alek could read better. He would say goodnight after an hour or so, and the baron would say to keep up the good work on the fief, with a wink. He knew that the baron knew everything of what he was doing, but he also knew that the baron was one of the ones who approved. A 13 year old mind reader was not always the safest thing in some people's mind, but he was perfectly stable. He was helping the baron fix the fief, the world, the kingdom. He would soon be under the wing of baron Arald forever. The Baron, a good friend of his father's, was an old man. He was getting too old to walk, but he vowed that he would do all that he could until the day he expired.

Other people who loved him and cared about him, weren't scared of him, included Horace, who was just like an uncle to him, and halt, his pretty much grandpa. Also Lady Pauline. She was very kind, Halt's wife. She was also his mom's boss. She was gracious and graceful.** (HINT, HINT)** she gave his family more than could be imagined by most.

Halt had taught him how to shoot. He could be a ranger, a cook, a diplomat, a librarian, anything he wanted. Except a warrior, but he really didn't want to be one. He didn't want to work with Uncle Horace, or it may be the worst years of his life. He was an amazing… well, an amazing pretty much anything. Girls loved him, he was muscular, he had family, special abilities, and he could do anything, be anything he wanted to be. He could be a real hero.

If only he'd had the time to train before this afternoon.

**Ooooohhhh! Ahhhhhhh! Cliffy! Did you like it? I will only know if you review! No, seriously, please review. Thanks for reading!**


	4. real flying

**I really don't have much to say, so you can just read the story. :-D**

Jacinella's POV

I was flying, high over the earth, wings spread wide as the cold, crisp winter air ran through my wings. Gosh, I loved flying. I couldn't help but to. It was sensational, knowing that I was at the top of the world. It felt so much better than being on the ground, yet when I came down, I just felt depressed. I was humble enough in the air, but on the ground, I didn't feel just grounded, I felt- sad. Angry, depressed, annoyed. I just felt all around bad.

But it was nessecary to land. I needed food, fuel, rest, and a little bit of some regenerating before I could start going again. If only, if only. If only I had time to say a proper goodbye to my parents before I ran away. If only I had seen Skye's face before I left. I could have read it. I could have told what was happening, better understood the details, figured out what I needed to help with.

But, I didn't. I didn't get to say goodbye, I didn't know what was happening, and I was so twisted and scared. I was 13, and I needed to help. No, I didn't need help, I needed _to_ help. I needed to investigate. That's why I was taking the "scenic route" to Bitterblue's palace… so that I would have a _chance _to investigate, cause the wisdom of worlds knows that I won't get the chance to after I get there. Bitterblue will take over, her men will be following my every-other move.

I decided that I shouldn't think about this or else I would wind up doing something bad, so I went to a gas station for some fuel. By the end I had some carrots, a 5 liter water(did I mention that I was super strong, unnaturally so? Oh, well, I am), and a loaf of bread. I also grabbed a large backpack and a small messanger bag, filled to the brim with more food and lots of first aide supplies.

I paid up and ran quickly outside. I ran a full two miles before finally taking off. Up, up, and away I go. I flew for hours, and when it was dark, I flew on. I could see in the dark, I could see in the light, I could see all. I flew until 6:55 in the morning before I reached the border, about 15 miles from my destination, a suitable distance to run, if I had the energy. I didn't, of course, so I had to rest. No time to sleep, but 2 minutes is enough to sit and be re-energized.

I took the two minutes and decided to walk a few miles before running. I started walking and ran straight into someone. It freaked me out so much that I started beating the person up. He- I realized it was a he as he was yelling- started yelling at me to stop punching him. I pinned him down.

"Who are you? Why are you walking through the border?" he looked at me all confused, and then he started to talk. I couldn't even focus on what he was saying, I just heard his voice. It was beautiful, deep, clear as a bell, and I loved it. I was so caught up in it that he had to ask for my name 5 times before I got what he was saying. I just couldn't comprehend.

"My name is Jacinella, jerk, what's yours?"

**Review, please!**


	5. A bitter ending

"_Who are you? Why are you walking through the border?" he looked at me all confused, and then he started to talk. I couldn't even focus on what he was saying, I just heard his voice. It was beautiful, deep, clear as a bell, and I loved it. I was so caught up in it that he had to ask for my name 5 times before I got what he was saying. I just couldn't comprehend._

_"My name is Jacinella, jerk, what's yours?"_

Oh, god, did that really just come out of my mouth? oops. But, in my defense, I am really on edge and I feel very depressed right now, because, you know, I'm on the ground. He doesn't seem too hurt, though, more sympathetic… no, empathetic. Weird, I didn't think anyone would ever be empathetic of me.

"I'm Alek, nice to meet you, too." he said, jokingly.

"well, Mr. Alek, where are you headed? And why are you out so late on the border? I haven't seen you around here ever before. Where are you from?" he looked slightly amused. Probably from all of my questions… I have been told a few times that I can be overwhelming, but I can't help it!

"okay, one question at a time. I am headed to a castle, someone named Bitterblue, I think? And I am here on this border so late because… well, it's a long story. I am from Redmont, but I am not quite sure where that is relative to here, because I'm not sure how I got here and I'm not sure how in the worlds I am going to get back. Does that answer all of your questions?" he ended. I gave him a glare, one that would make momma shrink back, but he only chuckled and smiled at me, inviting me to say something more.

"well, kind of, but there are holes. No matter, I shall fill them in due time. I will ask for the same chamber area in Bitterblue's palace. I am headed there, as well. So, you must fill me in later. Now, come along. I have to get there… soon." I must have gotten my thinking look on, and he knew it, too, because he let me be and walked along side me without question nor comment. When I started running, he ran right next to me, and when I began to sprint, he was there, egging me on, daring me to go faster and race him. By the time we reached Bitterblue's gates, we were both out of breath and laughing, and we collapsed together in a heap on the dirt ground. My gown was filthy, but I had no care.

" I do believe I won, dude" I said. He looked at me in shock, apparently surprised that I had said the word dude. He had probably never heard or seen a girl as independent as me. But it quickly wore off, and he started grinning and arguing.

"nah-uh! I so won!" he said.

"nope, no way in these worlds, I won without a shadow of a doubt!"

"no, I did"

"me"

"nah-u"

"u-huh!"

We suddenly heard a voice from behind us, inside the gates.

"well, I do believe, young sir, that the lady won. "

"BITTERBLUE! Hi!" I ran up and hugged her, with Alek close behind. I turned and glanced at him and muttered, " told you that I won." Before following Bitterblue with Alek on my side.

"so, what brings you here, Jacy? And who's your friend?" Ugh. Don't get me wrong, I love Bitterblue as if she were my older sister, but she is SO incredibly forward!

"well, I will tell you why I am here in a few moments, but this is Alek. He's from… Redmont. That's it." That did sound highly suspicious, so I wasn't surprised to see her glance at me out of the corner of her eye.

"Oh? And where might that be?" as I was worrying and contemplating over a good response, a young maid, around the age of 17, approached bitterblue.

"Madam Queen, your daughter is wreaking havoc on the palace. What are we to do?" Bitterblue looked fond and annoyed at the same time.

"well, my dear, what could my poor little 5 year old baby ever do to this castle that could cause so much harm? After all, she is a sweet, tiny angel!" she said, hoping that the young woman wouldn't respond as some do to the sarcasm and jokes. She wasn't disappointed, for the maid laughed, a good, hearty laugh that made me smile and laugh with her. Pretty soon we were all laughing. Alek's laugh was endearing, a beautiful, deep, booming laugh that sounded like music.

When we were finally done laughing, we seemed to remember what was happening. Bitterblue soon sported a deep frown as the maid recounted the doings of her youngest child, Camilina.

"… and then, she ran out of the barn before we could catch her and LOCKED HERSELF IN THE BATHROOM!" oh, dear… heehee, it does sound so much like her to do this. She did learn from the best, her mother, after all.

Bitterblue turned to me after thanking and dismissing the girl.

"darling, do you think you could, maybe, go see her? I think that a visit from you will get her out." I giggled and nodded, already heading towards her rooms. I sneaked up to the door and picked the lock, knowing that it was unnecessary but loving the feeling anyways. I snuck into her room and approached the bathroom. I looked into the key hole and saw an eye peeking at me from inside. I heard a high pitched giggle. Soon the door was open and I was tackled to the floor by Cami, who was screaming "JAAAAAAACCCCYYYYYYYY!" as she ran towards me. I stood while still hugging her and spun her around, screaming "CAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIII!", just as she had to me. She was cackling like a madwoman and I just giggled along with her.

Suddenly, I stopped spinning and looked straight ahead.

What. The. Hell.

**I know, I know, really short, especially after all this time of not updating… and a SUCKY cliffy! But no worries, I will update soon, and I am going to try to set up a schedule so that my updates are more constant. Like it? Hate it? Wanna tear it up? I don't know, but review and I'll find out! oh, and if I'm ever this slow at updating again, send me hate reviews that tell me that I suck for not doing anything and to get to it. It always works, because I feel bad and guilty and I always write faster that way. Goodbye until next time, my friends!**


	6. Reduced to shreds

I set Cami down gently, patting her head softly thrice and spinning on my heel to face to man standing there, leaning on the door frame and smiling brightly, laughing quietly at the events before him.

"Do my eyes deceive me, or is this gentle sight the truth? Young man, do you perceive me as your friend from out of youth? A method of courting may be used by thee. Please, do recall your meetings with me." I finished, smiling as I slowly approached him. Tall, dark, handsome…while lurking in the shadows. He retreated into the light, smiling still.

"Hello, Jacy." He said, approaching my shorter form and folding me into his warm embrace. I took in his scent, breathing in the fresh forest air coming from him. I stepped back after an over-long moment, smiling lightly at his familiar features. About three heads taller than me, Tal had the bluest eyes you ever would see. Light brown hair falling lightly into his eyes, not quite shielding but shadowing a bit. Toned muscles, not necessarily prominent but slightly visible.

"Where have you been? I…We haven't seen you in forever. I missed you so much." He said quietly, not nearly loud enough for the others to hear. I was pulled tightly back into his strong, long limbs, and, peeking over his shoulder, I saw Alek, eyes betraying a small bit of hurt and confusion. I couldn't take it, closing my eyes childishly, tightly, and hugging Tal even faster, not wanting to ever let go. A tear slid down my cheek slowly, and I wiped it away quickly by nuzzling my face into his chest, which I just reached with my petite, in comparison, form.

After a small sigh and a long moment, I pulled away, beaming.

"I've been in the same place I always am," I started, rolling my eyes slightly.

"The cottage." We finished in unison. We both broke into a giggle fit, leaning on each other for support as we doubled over. Once we were controlled, I gave him an accusatory glare, not unlike Alek's a few minutes ago.

"But you, naturally, can't find time to visit, apparently. Seriously, would it kill you to just come chill with me once in a great while?" I asked peevishly. He shrunk away, wincing at my slight form focusing all of its irritation on him.

"Well, I just…I don't know. There isn't an excuse. "He finished, looking down. I giggled and ran my hand down the side of his cheek, smirking as the fourteen year old leaned into it, and gave a quick peck on the cheek. I smiled and ran away, laughing loudly, to the cover of Bitterblue.

"Save me!" I squeaked out of my hysterical laughter while Tal tickled me. She only smiled and shook her head, looking like she knew something that I didn't.

The night of their meeting, Madame Teem sat before her computer screen, grinning sadistically as she sipped delicately on her brew. She made a face slightly at the raw, pure taste of bitter ale. With the frozen mug in hand, she watched the scene from earlier unfold, paying care to the details of the girl's appearance. Her body, curvy at the hips and an hourglass figure and complexion to make an artist's hand cry, her profile, so soft and smooth, no sharpness of finality to the suave, pale skin. Every detail she picked out, saving it in her brain's base. She took another long pull of the mixture, not making a face this time, and finished it off.

Standing from her seat in the small café, the normal looking woman walked up to the counter, doing her best impression of a French accent to cover up the English. She was posing as this erratic, confused Madame Teem, after all.

"Bonjour, Monsieur. Do jou 'ave a map for zee area? I am 'orribly, 'orribly lost." She said, looking on in earnest. Inside, her heart spluttered with the pain of acting so innocent. She was never able to act so innocent again, no exceptions, but she was, as she told herself many a time, acting out of only her own devious purposes.

"No, ma'am, we don't, ma'am. But I'll shore tell yer where yer needs ta be." He replied with a sympathetic smile, thick country twang showing up in his nasally voice. She pursed her lips, dropping the act. Yanking off her gloves, she slowly approached him, moving fluidly behind the counter and grabbing hold of his neck. She turned his fearful eyes to her and spoke, dropping all charades, accent included.

"I do not need to know where to be. I need a map. And I intend to get one." She added as an afterthought. She moved her hands so that they were positioned just below where they were, on the scruff of his clean, well kept, ironed polo.

"Now, _boy_"She snarled, lifting him with two fingers wrapped around the inside of the shirt and her thumb pressed to them on the outside. "And listen well. I am positive that there is a map in here somewhere, as I am positive that you will go get that for me. Right. Now. Or else." She finished, setting him down and shooing him off to go get it. What did she care if he called for help, or the police. She would be long gone before anyone could possibly catch her.

He scuttled fearfully back into the room, carrying a neatly folded, laminated road map in front of him as if it were fire burning his hands, wincing as she snatched it out of his open hands and smacked him on the head with it, causing him to fall back on his hind legs. She smirked.

"Good boy." She said, cackling maniacally and retreating to the door. She turned one last time, hand in pocket, map already stowed safely.

"Catch you later, puppy." She said, grinning slyly, and just as she was about to step off of the porch and slam the door, she turned back and shot something out of her pocket, so fast that it was all a blur. All that is known is that, when she turned and left, not looking back for one second, the poor cashier was laying there, outside of the counter, in a pool of his own blood. Embedded into his neck was a small, silver piece, and Madame Teem laughed as she thought of it, zipping out of her current skin form and taking on her true form, a pixie. She hoped that the police would find it, the incrusted message on the side. Oh, how she hoped.

**Alright, I have so many things to apologize for. I'll start with one thing: I'm sorry that my chapters are so incredibly, painfully short. I'm sorry that the intervals between updates are not only infrequent but also unregulated. I'm sorry that I'm an idiot and that my writing sucks.**

**Yeah, I have a lot to apologize for. And I'm also sorry for that very fact. Please, send me a review, be it hateful or criticistic or rude, or even nice. I don't know how you feel about me. And I'm also very, very, as in I cannot possibly stress how very, open to any suggestions about more frequent and regular updates, tissues for the issues and such.**

**Thank you for being amazing and fantastic and wonderful and !**


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